


The past is never really gone

by goodboysweaterTM



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben loves to spoil Rey, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Finnpoe baby!, Implied/Referenced Sex, Kylo Ren pays for his crimes, Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Post-Bendemption, Rey helps him through the pain, Reylo - Freeform, they build a house
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21680623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodboysweaterTM/pseuds/goodboysweaterTM
Summary: Many years have passed and Ben and Rey live a quiet life on Naboo. And yet, the past is never really gone.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	The past is never really gone

**Author's Note:**

> A little slice of what I hope life might be like for our two lovebirds post tros.

It is years later. Life is simple and peaceful and green. The past still haunts them but not with the same sharpness or intensity. Now the ghosts are simply a reminder of where they’ve been and who they used to be, shimmering cerulean wisps of familiarity. 

Rey sits in the sun room, tinkering with the holo that has been glitching without inspection for longer than she cares to admit. Just yesterday the feed had cut in the middle of her call to Finn and Poe. They had been so eager to show her their daughter’s tentative and shaky first steps. From his position leaning against their bedroom door frame, Ben had insisted they fly to the nearest trading post so she could pick out whatever model she wanted. But something in her didn’t want to simply cast the holo aside. Something to do with lonely desert nights and scorching hunger pains.

Ben is kneeling outside in their small patch of garden. Rey can watch him tending a Nysha plant through the large glass-pane window. Thick, strong back muscles straining against a dark blue cotton shirt. His large hands are covered in red dirt and warm mud but he doesn’t seem to mind. On this spring day the garden is teeming with spinebarrels and nightbloomers. He loves spring on Naboo because he gets to watch the seeds and roots he has been tending for months finally sprout and climb towards the endless, glittering sky. Every year he is awed and bewildered that they flower yet again. There’s something deep inside of him that is relieved by the fact that something as beautiful as a murakami orchid can grow from his fingertips. Something that has to do with a cacophony of screams, the combined smell of terror and burnt flesh, and the overwhelming sensation of anger and despair. 

All he has to do is peer over his shoulder to see Rey sitting cross-legged on the floor, subconsciously facing him through the floor-to-ceiling glass, face scrunched in concentration. She looks incandescent, he thinks, framed by their house. The house they built together. There had been arguments and tools thrown to the grown in frustration followed by sloppy kisses and frantic thrusts and later there were screaming matches and heavy tears followed by warm embraces and forehead brushes. And in the end they had stood outside together and held hands as the sun faded behind the horizon and finally understood what it meant to be home. 

The light streaming in hits her face in just the right way and suddenly, despite the years that have passed, Rey looks just as she did in the forest of Takodona when he first saw her. Everything comes rushing back to him in that moment. The images bombard him: tears streaming down Rey’s face from the ledge in Starkiller Base and in the burning throne room, countless gritty battles with a clash of blue and red under crashing waves and in a snowy forest, the battered faces of her friends and resistance fighters, and the final grasp of his father’s calloused hand. All he can do is grip the dirt underneath him and hold on as the sobs begin to wrack his body. 

Rey can feel the exact moment the fear and grief hit him like a reek. It’s almost as if her own hands are painfully grasping the rich, deep earth outside. With gentle reassurance she reaches out to him across their connection but he shuts to bond down so hard she can almost hear ringing in her ears. The holo is forgotten and she is running to the garden without even pausing to put on her boots. She finds him on his knees by the water station, furiously washing clumps of mud from his hands. His shoulders are shaking violently and every movement conveys a stab of pain. 

“Hey,” she whispers, panting from her sprint, as she gently reaches for his hands, hoping to steady them so he can properly clean them. He recoils the moment her fingers brush his.

“What’s wrong?” she pleads.

He seems to remember himself then and tentatively moves his hands to touch hers under the cascade of water. He doesn’t say anything but continues to heave and gasp as she takes his hands and begins to softly wipe away the soil and grime from his palms. When they’re clean, Rey turns off the spicket and dries his hands on the towel hung beside it. Ben’s cries are much softer now and his fingers tremble a little less harshly. She grasps him tighter and helps him stand. His knees are shaky so she slides her arms around his torso to hold his lower back. 

“Ben?” she peers up at him and asks. “Talk to me.”

He shakes his head and she strokes the planes in his back. After a moment he takes a stuttering deep breath and finally looks her in the eye. She can see a galaxy of pain in their depths.

“How could you forgive me?” Ben asks, voice thick with tears. “After everything I put you through, how could you forgive me?”

“What do you mean?” Rey asks. She wipes his tears with soothing caresses.

“I hurt you,” he whimpers. “I hurt your friends. I hurt my parents, innocent people, and all of that hurt you too. We fought so many times. I disappointed you so many times. How?”

Her face softens from deep concern to understanding and she takes a full deep breath.

“Everything you put me through? Ben, you gave me a home, made me feel truly wanted and cherished for the first time in my life,” she replies.

“But—” he gasps.

“Yes, you did terrible things. Yes, you hurt me. But you were tried for your crimes and the New Republic saw what I did. That you made mistakes and you recognized those mistakes and that you wanted to pay for them. You have helped me, and the people we love, and so many others in the galaxy, Ben.” she reassures him.

He turns his head up to the sky to see threatening, gray clouds creeping into their little slice of paradise. When he looks back down at her his face no longer holds an age-old pain. He has relaxed his hold on the bond and through the cracks she sends her own calming energy. 

“The information you gave the New Republic helped to dismantle the First Order for good” she reminds him as she strokes his face and combs through his hair. “And you have poured your heart into helping children across the galaxy.”

“Helping orphans,” Rey adds and swallows down a thick ball of emotion in her throat. 

“I’ll never forgive myself,” he murmurs as he finally moves his arms to wrap around her and pull her closer.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. Because I forgive you. Even after everything, I forgive you,” Rey affirms. She lifts her heels to kiss his cheek and a moment later he is crushing her tighter into his embrace. One hand comes up to support the back of her neck and the other squeezes the dip of her gently sloping hip. 

“I don’t deserve you.” Ben whispers into her hair and for a moment she is afraid his tears will flow again.

“Yes you do. You deserve to be happy Ben.” she tells him passionately. “And so do I.”

He hums in agreement and the bond is thrown open once again. There are no more words to be said into the dusk air. There is only an exchange of pain and love, grief and comfort. Ultimately, a warm balance remains. They stand with their foreheads touching even after the sky opens up and pours a thousand sparkling drops of rain on their heads. When they are utterly drenched, the bond grows from smoldering embers to licking flames and the spell is broken. Rey is giggling as Ben throws her over his shoulder and carries her into the house, neither caring about the mess they’re making. Wet layer after wet layer is removed and today’s pain is soothed by wandering hands and earlobe nibbles and swirling tongues. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I thought it was important that they work through Ben's past because I don't feel like it will be explored in depth in canon.
> 
> Here's a few relevent links to things I mentioned that are in the Star Wars Universe.  
> -Reek  
> -Nysha plant  
> -Spinebarrel  
> -Nightbloomer  
> -Musakami orchid


End file.
